My Blog

Do you live each day making choices that positively impact upon the lives of others and yourself? I have been delighted to spend some time in the company of those who do that and in sharing these situations, I hope I am able to encourage you to do likewise.

On Friday 9th October I was honoured to be a guest at ‘Live2Lead’ – a global event by the John Maxwell team that was broadcast live to over 400 venues across the globe. Thank you Andy Hall and Neale Edwards for the invitation. Along with Mike Coote, for whom I am part time PA, they are all certified John Maxwell coaches. The first speaker, Pat Lencioni spoke about ‘Organizational Health’ and some great tips for leadership. One aspect he mentioned was about the value of a leader to show vulnerability at times and used the example of admitting that you are sweating before anyone else does! In showing that sometimes you need help/guidance as a leader it encourages the whole team to do the same – thus making the company or the people you influence, more effective.

I did not consider myself as a leader until I acknowledged that leadership is actually about influence – I may not sit at a boardroom table – what I do is influence by speaking and writing. After my amazing book launch a few weeks ago several people have asked me if I have ‘come down’ after it. In the book ‘The Big Leap’  Hendricks says that we often sabotage our lives by believing that just because we have been ‘high’ we are not allowed to stay there. It’s that panic we may feel after an event or achievement of ‘it’s done .. what next’?  My answer is that yes, I have lost the euphoria of that event and the ‘letting go’ of deadlines regarding publishing and all that went into that day. Physically I cannot sustain that level of physical intensity. I would say that I am not ‘down’. I have been a little unsettled – almost a mixture of feeling unsettled/tired/sleepless. I share that as my vulnerability to you – most of the time I am the optimistic and sparkly person I encourage others to be. I do have my ‘off’ days and that’s okay! I am simply finding my next areas of priority …..

Next we heard from John Maxwell himself in two presentations. He spoke about his ideas around ‘Intentional Living’ and how each day we should be more committed to sewing seeds rather than reaping what you sew. He stressed the importance of valuing people; believing in people and loving them. I love his quote opposite.

What can you do on a daily basis that will enable you to do this? What can you do in a regular, consistent way that will lead to greater fulfilment? I encourage you to have a look at John’s work for many ideas on personal and leadership development.  You could make a start by signing up to his ‘A minute a with Maxwell‘. He also spoke about being significant every day in ways to add value to others.

Another of the speakers certainly added value – Valorie Burton. She spoke about the ways that people who are resilient think and behave. I loved how she showed that how by always looking backwards to the past, people are unable to look forward and move on. This reminded me of some of the ideas I give in my new book ‘Another Twinkle in the Eye – contemplating another pregnancy after perinatal mental illness‘.

Have a look at Valerie’s website and quotes for more ideas.

In recent weeks I have met other people who are adding value to the lives of others. On 15th September I was invited to speak at a local event ‘Celebration of The People’s Voice‘ by the Cheshire and Merseyside Clinical Strategic network. I shared my story of how I have been able to impact upon local planning for women around perinatal mental health.

My presentation time

Have a look here at what else was featured. Two people who stood out for me as people who are ‘being significant’ were Ray Murphy, who has dedicated his retirement to services for others since his wife died of cancer and Kate Gratwick, who is extremely active making a difference to those involved in end of life care. I also met a number of people from local services and charities, including Jonathan from Child Bereavement UK. It was a humbling and inspiring event – thank you to Gloria and her team for a great day,  all that lead to it and the work in the future. I felt that my purpose was served by speaking to Kate and sharing information about the Open University end of life training modules. 

The following day I was in London for the UKIMS meeting of the Marcé Society, dedicated to supporting research and assistance surrounding prenatal & postpartum mental health for mothers, fathers and their babies. I am always impressed at this annual event at the enthusiasm of the young students who are dedicating years of their lives to research and to the continuing work of professionals in this field. There were a wide range of excellent presentations around how we can make a positive difference to pregnancy and early parenthood.

It is always a pleasure to hear from the more established speakers too. These included Cheryll Adams  reporting on the Institute of Health Visiting Perinatal Mental Health Project  a year on; the flamboyant Alain Gregoire speaking on how Mother and Baby units are being rated by those who use them; and Louise Howard  on how the NICE guidance on improving perinatal mental health services can be implemented. You can hear Louise speak at an event I am chairing and speaking at on 1st December.    I believe that all of the healthcare professionals and researchers at The Marce Society are certainly making intentional choices! Perhaps you can join us?

My busy week was completed on 18^th September by being part of the programme by the Huddersfield Midwifery Society  in association with the Royal College of Midwives.  The RCM have a useful booklet on ‘Maternal Emotional Wellbeing and infant Development – a guide for midwives’.  The day was one of the most inspiring I have attended. We heard from Bev Waterhouse who is making a difference to the provision of PMH in Calderdale and Huddersfield.   Mia Scotland gave us all some ideas about ways to ease mental distress in the perinatal period and also brought along some copies of her new book.

I know that I wasn’t alone in being mesmerised in listening to Cheryl Wilkinson from UKPEA  who spoke eloquently about her birth journey and post-traumatic stress disorder. As she had almost completed her midwifery training when this happened to her, she was able to describe it in the technical terms that really strengthened the impact of her journey. After such a traumatic time, listening to Cheryl’s extremely positive outlook was truly incredible. She is most definitely on a path of intentional choices. I doubt that anyone in the audience left without hearing her message of the need to really listen to women. I highly recommend Cheryl as a speaker.

We also heard from Dr Zoe Darwin  looking at her research around perinatal mental health in fathers. This is very relevant and it is fantastic to see the publicity that Dads Matter UK  is getting on this topic too.

One area of childbirth that has an ‘uncomfortable’ feel about it regards sexual abuse. Just how can you make a difference to women as a midwife? Pregnancy and birth can be a very traumatic experience if the woman has been sexually abused at some point in her life. We listened to the wonderful Geraldine Butcher who described how she and others had made a difference by making intentional choices to help women in this situation. You can find some information on this here and here.

Sometimes in life you meet someone who you instinctively like and within seconds you find yourself asking why they seem to be faced by battles. The whole room was in awe of Rachel (Ellie) Gardner who is determined to make a difference for women and their families concerning pregnancy and birth. She continues to do this at the moment regardless of currently undergoing chemotherapy for cancer treatment. Her ability to laugh at herself allows those around to feel relaxed and able to witness the passion she has for life. Truly humbling and inspiring.

The word ‘to inspire’ has two main definitions:

1. Fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative:
2. Breathe in (air); inhale:

Rachel certainly does this. She told us of her survey of mothers experiences of birth . She has also just started her website to help fathers with their role at the birth of their child.

Added to all these wonderful speakers were the delegates – mainly midwifery students from the Huddersfield area and some qualified healthcare professionals. I left the event feeling privileged to have been part of such an incredible day filled with optimism and hope that there are many people wanting to make a positive difference to family around pregnancy and birth.

They are all great examples of making intentional choices, on a daily basis to improve the lives of woman and their families around pregnancy and early parenthood. Like me, they have found their purpose.

What will you do today and going forward to do this?

Sharing this information could be a start 🙂 !

Elaine