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Since my book Eyes without Sparkle – a journey through postnatal illness’ was published in 2005, I have had the honour of being asked to be on a number of live national (and international) television programmes speaking about postnatal illness and mental health.
Many people ask me if I get nervous. I confess that I actually find my reactions to be very funny!
First and foremost I am always delighted to be asked because I may just help someone. I vividly remember when I was at my worst with postnatal depression which developed into psychosis, I sometimes saw former ‘sufferers’ on television. It may have been any illness or tragedy, not just postnatal. What they offered me during those dark times was a four letter word – hope. They helped to sow a tiny seed in me that one day too I would crawl out of the dark tunnel I was in. One day I too would enjoy smiling and living again. They inspired me to dare to believe that if they had come through their trauma, then just maybe I would too.
Whenever I am in front of a camera I am visualising those in dark places who may be watching. They may even be yelling at me ‘It’s alright for you – you’re better’. If they do I still hope that just maybe I can give them a glimmer of light. As the inspirational Nick Vujicic reminds us, the light at the end of the tunnel may just be around the next bend.
I know this to be true because I often receive a message from someone, even years down the line who tells me that they or someone close to them, heard or saw me in the media and as a result read my story or made contact with an organisation I had mentioned. These had enabled them to ultimately get better.
Hence whenever I get ‘the call’, I am thrilled at the prospect of being able to reach out in some way.
So how do I get the contact? How does it work? What do I do?
My appearances on television have come by a variety of routes:
- From being in a national newspaper or magazine article. My first BBC Breakfast one back in 2005 was following a press release on my book which the Sunday Observer covered. BBC saw it and invited me on.
- I have let the various networks know my topic. I have sent a short bio on what I can speak on and they keep it ‘on file’.
- Recommendation – different channels and programmes have seen me and then got in touch.
- Having my website and social media – researchers have found me.
- When I know my topics are ‘in the news’ I will be proactive and send my details to news editors.
From these once in a while I either get a call or e-mail asking if I am available. My first reaction is to be excited. Then I check my schedule. I did turn a series down once as the first day of filming clashed with my sister’s wedding!
From the initial enquiry there is usually a phone call when I say I am available and ask for how I can help. In the early days I know I approached it from my agenda. Now I know differently and the key questions to ask:
- What is the purpose of the piece?
- Can they send me more information, e.g. is it based on new research, so I can be prepared and relevant?
- What angle do they want me to take, e.g. as an ‘expert by experience’ or simply as a ‘Mum’?
- Will there be others interviewed?
- How long have I got?
That last question is VITAL. Looking back at my earlier shows I know I was frustrated because I was cut off before I had said my most important comments! By being clear on the above questions I am able to plan out before the interview, my three key messages. I can then add as much or little detail as needed. That way after the show I am not cursing myself for having forgotten to say x, y or z.
Next are logistics. These can range from transport to and from the studio, plus a night in a hotel. Or simply ‘can you be at such a place by such a time’. I have never received any payment for being on these programmes. Usually it is a short warning, e.g. can you come tomorrow?
On one occasion we got as far as sorting out my train time. Then I got another call to say ‘thank you, but the producer has decided that you are too professional looking and not pathetic enough to talk about mental illness’! That early morning television show is no longer running!
Another time I was ‘binned’ because a bigger news event took over. So I have learnt not to get really excited until I am there!
So time, place, logistics, topic are all sorted. Then what?
I get giddy! I usually text my loved ones first then put it on my Social Media links to raise some PR and also to keep postnatal illness ‘out there’ for awareness. If I don’t, I then get people reprimanding me for not telling them. I hope that it is received in the way I intend and not as me showing off. I do like to share my excitement too!
I confess my ‘to do list’ for that day generally then goes out of the window! I find I have the concentration of a gnat!
Next dilemma is ‘what to wear’. There are many websites if you do a Google search on what to wear on television. It needs to be comfortable, appropriate, no jangling jewellery and to wear block colour as opposed to patterned. As my branding has yellow, orange and purple in it I now attempt to match that.
The night before I am very excited! Yes, the adrenalin is also flowing with a touch of nerves. All my clothes are out ready and any travel paperwork. How will it go? Will I say the right things? Will I come across alright? Sleep is usually a bit fractious especially if I am in a hotel. You know one of those nights when you tell yourself you must sleep, and in doing so you can’t? I tend to go over my key points several times.
The day dawns and I usually wake before my alarm. If hair and make-up is to be done at the studio, that is both a treat and relief. Otherwise I hope for a ‘good hair day’ and spend a little longer on my own make-up.
Once dressed I make my way to the studio, with my tummy doing somersaults! The reception and production team are generally very friendly and make you feel welcome. Sometimes there is a ‘Green Room’ where there will be refreshments and a place to wait. I did meet Boris Becker in one Green Room. He used a whole stack of plastic cups just to take a single drink and the threw them in the bin!
Usually a member of the production team talks you through the timings, questions and where you will go. Generally there is no opportunity to meet the presenters before the programme. A sound technician will fit a small mic (usually best not to wear a dress as it makes the wires awkward) and you go into the studio. These are surprisingly small.
I find it fascinating to see the cameras and a very small team running the show. When a video tape or other slot is running you are directed to the sofa; sound checked and very quick introduction to the presenters. I shall always remember Dermot Murnaghan on BBC Breakfast shaking my hand and saying:
‘I believe this is your first time on tv? Forget the fact that it is live and millions are watching. Millions. Imagine that you are just on mine and Natasha’s front room sofa!’
Other times I have just had an ear piece in, and spoken simply to a camera in front of me. That is the most unnerving because you have no clue as to the body language of the presenter. This normally gives you the cue to carry on or wind up!
It is hot under the lights and very bright. Just before you go live I find myself checking that my skirt is done, lick my teeth and hope that I am looking okay.
It does feel quite surreal that you are ‘there’ and for a moment I visualise the places where I have been and watched the same programme. Afterwards it is weird to see ‘that’ sofa and know you have been ‘there’.
Then it is you! It is easy to read the auto-cues for the presenter so you do get a little idea of what they will ask and who to (as there may be a couple of you to present different aspects of a subject).
Before you know it, the questions have been asked; you hope you have said the right things; and then you are done!
Another handshake and thanks follow from the presenter and you are guided off the set. Mics are taken off and you are back in the Green Room. Phew! Done!
I generally have a ‘calm down’ coffee and check my phone. Often the messages come in immediately. It is always so reassuring when I receive one from a ‘stranger’ who has just heard me and I have helped them.
Because although I openly love the excitement of being in a studio, I remain humbled and privileged to be able to share my story of overcoming postnatal illness with others. To offer them the hope that someday they too will be able to truly enjoy being a mother and the wonders that can bring.
Thank you to the production teams that make this possible.
Tomorrow morning I am off to appear on Sky news – as a follow-up to this item http://news.sky.com/story/1110304/postnatal-depression-blood-test-breakthrough .
…. my clothes are out ready, postcode in Sat Nav, alarm set .. I just need to sleep!
Elaine
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