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In my Linkedin profile at the moment, it says that I am celebrating 21 years at www.hanzak.com

So have I finally come of age and is it to be celebrated?

As I was a schoolteacher prior to taking a leap into becoming a speaker on perinatal mental health, I always remember the ‘last week of the school year’ in mid-July and the mixture of emotions – tiredness, relief and excitement at 6 weeks away from school; a holiday away and the dilemma to do several days of planning the next term before or after the holiday! I have come to the conclusion that life is always a mixture of emotions and choices to be made.

Last week was another fabulous opportunity to be reminded that I did make the correct decision to place myself on platforms to speak about my journey. I was invited to speak at the University of Derby student midwifery day. The theme was on Breaking the Silence – a dedicated space to explore the profound impact of perinatal bereavement, trauma, and mental health.

It was an excellent conference and expertly planned and run by the students. There had been a number of negative reports in the preceding days about midwifery so it would have been understandable if there had been a sense of doom in the room – not at all. The student midwives were upbeat and excited about their futures. We heard from Maggie Oliver who powerfully discussed the importance of hearing and believing people during their most vulnerable moments and the impact of trauma.

I shared my story and admit to feeling more anxious than in the past. It was the first time I had been on a platform since my Dad passed away earlier this year. I knew my emotions were close to the surface. I was immediately comfortable and proud to speak! The next speaker is close to my heart – my husband Mike! With his many years of varied careers and studies he is expertly placed to talk about communication and language. As always he was a huge success!

Mike captivating the audience

We love to spend time together and having a positive impact on others. From the feedback we had achieved this. Being described as a couple with a beautiful energy by one of the student midwives was wonderful.

I have been at many events over the years when Sheena Byrom has been in attendance. She and her husband had a stand and it was wonderful to catch up again.

Elaine Coote and Sheena Byrom

After a tasty lunch and time to network, Bob McGurrell from 4Loius described his story of losing his grandson Louis and the subsequent charity that he and his family have created.

Bob McGurrell and Elaine Coote

We then heard from Alia Hussain about the excellent work that the charity Sands provides, especially in resources and training.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the lecture theatre when one of the students shared her reason for wanting to be midwife – inspired by the loss of her baby son. So inspiring.

Mike and I had to leave .. and were touched to be applauded as we did so. My emotions had done a 180 degree flip since the morning. We returned home knowing that we had made a positive difference to those who heard us speak, who in turn will also impact upon others. That is one of the blessed outcomes of the honour of being a speaker and author – you will never know who you have helped. Congratulations and thanks to all involved in the day.

Since Covid-19 I haven’t been anywhere near as busy with my talks. At times I have questioned why. There have been a number of reasons:

1. I lost my confidence when I had long COVID
2. Many speaking opportunities evaporated
3. The needs of my family took priority – I didn’t want to be away from home if my parents needed me
4. I now have a granddaughter whom I adore spending time with and want to be as available as I can be!
5. Mike does most of his executive coaching from home and we can have a very flexible lifestyle.

I am 63 years old in a few weeks. So perhaps it is time to ‘slow down’ ? Mike had a new knee fitted last year and I had a fall fracturing a vertebrae. We have become very comfortable on the settee!

Having said that, the reception we received in Derby last week has reinspired us to get off the settee! So if you have any events that you need a speaker for – please just ask.

My Mum is currently going through the contents of her loft. There are boxes and boxes of family memorabilia there. Even the exercise books from our school days! Lots of photos too – like this one.

Dad and I in London late 1960’s

The pride that my parents had for all my achievements is very special. I found a printout from my blog written on Sunday 19^th June 2011 about Father’s Day. I wrote of the things that I was grateful to my Dad for. The final paragraph of that blog still applies today ..

We must always make the most of those we love because we never know just how long we have .. to dance with them, to be with them, to just let them know how much you love them. Otherwise you will be left with remorse – grief is bad enough without adding that to the mix.

If you haven’t already … let someone know that right now.

So have I ‘come of age’? Yes, to a place where loved ones and family take priority and yet also to still wanting to make a positive impact on others.

Is 21 years of sharing my journey to be celebrated – absolutely. It has never been a financial goal and yet I have created a wealth and richness of experience, opportunities and love.

I look forward to celebrating many more .

Elaine 🙂