Back in 2006 I was thrilled to be invited to be the opening speaker at  The Marcé Society International Biennial Conference held at Keele University. It was only a year after my book ‘Eyes without Sparkle’ was published, and the President of the Society at the time, Dr Carol Henshaw, had read it and decided my story would be ideal to ‘set the scene’ for the following days where many of  the leading clinicians and academics on perinatal mental health from around the world would present their latest findings. I was extremely honoured and thrilled to do so (and nervous!) and I loved being there for the whole conference. I gained many new contacts back then; it lead to me speaking at the next conference in Sydney two years later and also the French edition of my book being published. Thank you Carol!

This September, the International conference was held in Swansea, Wales. Even though I was torn between attending the annual Leadership Retreat at Aldourie Estate in Inverness where I have been for the previous three years, I knew  I had to be there for my career . My other dilemma was that it clashed with my son starting his adult journey by going to college. We are thrilled that he gained the grades he needed to study for his photography degree at his first choice, Cleveland college. Well done and good luck Marius!

Since my last blog following my birthday weekend on the Fylde coast, I have been quite unwell. I came down with a flu-like virus that really knocked the wind out of my sails. My Grandma always used to say that good health is the most important aspect of life. These last few weeks I have agreed with her very much. My energy levels are still very low. It has been frustrating that just when I have felt well, after a few hours I have a wave of fatigue that has left me struggling to function at peak ability. My mood has been a real roller-coaster – irrational tears and irritability! I had intended to use most of August to write my book – I just have not been able to. The week before the conference in Swansea I seriously doubted I would be well enough to attend. Dr. Henshaw and I were due to deliver a workshop together based on the topic of my next book, on considering another pregnancy after a previously challenging one. That was in doubt too!

I packed on Monday, little by little, and also helped my son get his things required for student life – a pleasure! On Tuesday I drove down to Swansea university with plenty of medication in me (safely though) and determination to make the most of the incredible opportunity.  The journey took me almost five hours, yet in the sunshine, I enjoyed it, especially taking the scenic route south of Birmingham. I was staying in the halls at the university – it took me back to my student days at Edge Hill University.

The first event of Tuesday was a drinks reception at the Mariott hotel.  I have never been to Swansea before – I was impressed by the harbour there. On walking into the reception, the current President, Dr. Jane Hanley, welcomed me and immediately told me that there were some Americans looking for me! I knew that one of the ladies from Iowa, Lisa Segre, would be there – she heard me speak in 2006 and we have remained in touch ever since. It was wonderful to see her again. The second lady looking for me was a great surprise! For several years now I have communicated with another former sufferer from the USA. Neither of us knew we would both be in Swansea. Jennifer Moyer has just published her book , ‘A Mother’s Climb out of Darkness’ and she is also speaking about her experiences in America. It was brilliant to meet up and we spent time together as the week progressed.  We both had another lady in common, Jane Honikman. She is the founder of Postpartum Support International.  When I went to the conference in Sydney, Jane and I were room mates. Recently Jennifer has been speaking at events for PSI. The three of us posed by Jennifer’s poster later in the week.

After the drinks reception a small group of us went out for a meal following which I was very much ready to sleep!

The conference began properly on Wednesday morning. I could quite easily have stayed under the duvet, yet that would have been foolish! In total there were around 450 delegates from 33 countries. The incredible feeling is that there is so much global passion and expertise in perinatal mental health. Each of the three days began with everyone listening to plenaries. The president Jane oozed enthusiasm the whole conference – she was bright, bubbly and so friendly and I loved her message that we were all there to ‘unlock the key of mother’s misery’. Even the welcoming addresses were warm and meaningful, especially by one of the supporters of the event from Abertawe Bro Morgannwg University Health Board, who shared the fact that his own mother had suffered from postnatal depression.

The first presentation was an ‘adorable’   by Dr Steve Suomi who showed us some of his research with primates – the cute pictures of baby monkeys copying facial expressions was amazing.

Next we heard from Professor Jane Barlow about ‘Improving outcomes for infants of parents with mental health problems: The role of parent-infant psychotherapy’. She recommends the work done by Beatrice Beebe on interaction.

After a break we had many choices of symposia on a particular subject or oral presentations. I chose to attend one on ‘Mother-Baby Perinatal Treatment Impact and Management of Care in different countries’. This included Roch Cantwell, from Glasgow, who spoke to us about the unit there – have a look at their You Tube film.  We heard too about the system in Belgium from Claudine Mertens – see here.

Lunch was a pre-packed version – as the weather so so warm we all found sunny to places to eat and network. The Marcé Society  had asked any members who are authors if they wanted the opportunity to have copies on sale in the university book shop for signings. I felt very honoured to have my book alongside others and each lunchtime had the privilege of chatting to delegates from around the world.

We had a very inspiring lecture after lunch by Professor Graham Thornicroft who spoke brilliantly about ‘Stigma, Discrimination and Mental Health’. He urges us all to join in with supporting the call to include mental health in the next global health targets. Please add your name here and follow #FundaMentalSDG .

I then attended a session that covered many 10 minute presentations regarding ‘Fathers and other Topics’. I found it very encouraging this conference that there appears to be a much stronger focus on the role and impact upon fathers as regards the perinatal period.

Carol and I then did our workshop that we had prepared.  I shared my story briefly and my desire to help other parents facing the dilemma of more children if they have experienced challenges with mental health with a previous pregnancy. Using evidence from the survey answers I have gathered about this from parents, I outlined their main fears around this decision and what they want from healthcare professionals. Carol went on to describe and discuss the range of possible treatments (she has written these in a chapter for my book) and we discussed the topic.   I was thrilled when one delegate explained that she had heard me speak several years ago when she was a student at Salford University. I had inspired her to make some positive actions and she has just qualified as a health visitor with a special interest in perinatal mental health. My greatest purpose in all I do around this subject is to create awareness and also to inspire others in this way – it was ‘the’ defining moment of the conference for me. I felt moved, humbled and privileged.

I also felt very, very tired. It had been a long day and I needed rest. I changed, ate some food and debated if to go and see a film that was being shown. I could easily have stayed in my room for the evening. Instead I took some tablets and a dose of positive attitude and was so very, very glad I did. We had the opportunity to see a German film made by Emily Atef called ‘Das Fremde in Mir/The Stranger in Me’.  From the opening seconds where the lead character is stumbling through woodland, my attention was captured and I stayed focussed throughout. It was about a young couple who are so excited to be expecting a baby yet the mother does not bond with it and then we witness an extremely realistic demise into postnatal depression. Her ‘walk’ reminded me of the night I did that when I was so ill.  I thought the way they portrayed the ‘lost’ look in the eyes and the feeling of detachment was brilliant.

I feel that it would be a fantastic film for healthcare professionals and families to watch so that they can gain an insight into how postnatal illness can affect a woman and all around her and some of the ways that she can be helped (or not!) on her road to recovery. It is frustrating that film rights prevent it normally being shown in the UK. We had an open discussion on it afterwards. If you ever get the opportunity to see it I would highly recommend it.

And so ended the first full day of an incredible conference.  I did not feel well. I did put into perspective that I have the last stage of a virus that shall pass. It reminded me of how awful it is to feel either physically or mentally ‘below par’.  Poor mental health before and following pregnancy can have a severe impact on everyone involved and often for long periods. This global gathering was to help alleviate that.  I could not and would not miss out on such a wealth of learning that I intend to use to continue to inspire others.

More to follow ..

Elaine 🙂