My Blog

In the time I have been learning, speaking and writing about perinatal mental illness, one thread that I feel that still needs more awareness is the idea that it has impact upon only the mother. Through the power of social media and increasing awareness of mental health, we are seeing the signs of how the impact goes far beyond ‘just’ her. The photo above is of my son and I with my parents and grandparents. I remember that it was their 70th wedding anniversary.

Last week, the amazing documentary as part of the BBC In the Mind series, ‘Psychosis, my baby and me’ (see my blog here for more details) gave us an insight into the impact upon the husband and father of the child. Another man, Mark Williams, with whom I am presenting at two events this week in Hatfield and Kettering, speaks openly about his descent into mental illness as a direct result of his wife having postnatal depression. We do have to help the fathers too – or partner of same sex couples. You may be interested in a book written by another new father, Michael Lurie. His book ‘My Journey to Her World‘ gives an insight to how the partner can be affected. The wonderful American site Postpartum Progress has some more examples and ideas for support.

We are seeing more awareness of the effects upon the foetus and unborn child. I highly recommend that you read the blog , ‘Who is keeping the baby in mind?‘ written by Clair Rees, Chair of PIP UK.  Remember to book your place at the conference in Infant Mental Health Awareness week on 9th June. I am honoured to be speaking at it.

I also recommend the excellent website and information by Vivette Glover and her team at Begin before Birth as this shows how important pregnancy is. I wish more people would go back to cherishing pregnancy as a time of immense importance to baby and mother.  We seem to have lost this in our society. I am not suggesting that pregnant women should be confined to bed for 9 months. Yet perhaps we do need to be more mindful that offering them a seat on public transport should not need a sign to remind us; that working full time up to a few days pre delivery is maybe not ideal and that rest should be compulsory and essential, not a burden of guilt.

One of my best friends recently reminded me that when I was in the psychiatric hospital being treated for puerperal psychosis, I sent her a letter. In it I described my thoughts and feelings. What totally upset her was the fact I signed it as ‘someone who used to be Elaine’. She didn’t keep it because she said it was too upsetting. I read an article published yesterday in the Guardian about a man, Iain Cunningham, who discovered that his mother, Irene, had puerperal psychosis after his birth. She died when he was three. He is in the process of making a film about it. What made me shudder was the comment:

Irene was aware of the change, telling one friend: “I’m not Irene, I’m Irene’s ghost.” 

This rang so true with me remark that I felt I ‘used’ to be me. I am continually grateful that I survived this awful illness and the support I received – that is why I continue to do what I do. I am delighted to be meeting Iain later this week.

His article shows how perhaps as a society we HAVE made progress about speaking about mental health. It also is a strong message that ‘maternal mental’ is far more about ‘just the mother’. As Iain has reminded me, perinatal mental health is about Everyone’s Business, the strap-line for the Maternal Mental Health Alliance.

I applaud all that is being done in the realms of perinatal mental health. We have much further on this journey to travel of holistic care for the whole family.

I would love to see more stories and research on the effects of the wider family. The grandparents; siblings of both mother and child; wider family and friends all have their stories to tell. In my books, ‘Eyes without Sparkle’ and ‘Another Twinkle in the Eye’ you will see some examples of how my illness impacted those around me. If any partners, siblings, family and/or friends of women affected by perinatal mental ill wish to share their experiences (can be anonymous) I am more than happy to put them in my blog. Who knows, maybe this could be the start of another book …….

Have a wonderful Sunday,

Elaine 🙂