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20 years and one day on from giving birth to my darling boy, I am thrilled and honoured to have been nominated for ‘Cheshire Woman of the Year 2016’.  In turn I would like to acknowledge the many people who have made this accolade possible.

Back on April 27^th 1996 I was simply relieved that both myself and my much wanted son were alive. A doctor informed me that I should ‘think yourself lucky – had it been a home birth or 20 years ago, you’d be dead now!’.

Little did any of us know then that 7 months on I would be in what had been a Victorian asylum; self-harming; my son on the ‘at risk’ register for child protection and suffering from puerperal psychosis. Prior to this I had always been mentally well. I got better. Since I shared my story 11 years ago in ‘Eyes without Sparkle – a journey through postnatal illness’ (CRC Press, 2005), I have vowed to

1. Spread awareness about perinatal mental illness and help to reduce the stigma associated with it
2. Offer hope and encouragement to those who are affected by it (more than simply the mother)
3. Offer motivation and hope to those who care for them.

Yes, I resigned my teaching career to do this and yes, financially the journey has been challenging. Tonight I find myself  feeling extremely moved because I feel so rich and blessed in so many other ways.

In 2011 I had another huge knock to my life when my partner, Clive Gott, died suddenly at the age of 52. Everyone loses a loved one at some point. I know that he would be pleased that I have been able to motivate others through his death – even if it to feel grateful for waking up each morning. Throughout my journey there have been many that have supported and encouraged me in so many ways. In turn, that enables me to do what I do.

My parents and siblings have always been there with their unconditional love and support. My son fills me with joy and pride, as do my nieces and nephew. My special friends are always there for me. Without the part-time role I have as PA for Mike Coote Coaching  it is unlikely that I could have been able to continue my passion around perinatal health.

People that I have helped are being so gracious about my nomination. I feel so touched and humbled by comments on Social Media, e.g. by parents of children I used to teach; ladies I have simply listened to when they were unwell. I value them all.

So how did the award happen and what was the event like?

There was a call for nominations for ladies in Cheshire who have shown either personal courage, community service or outstanding professional achievement. From the nominations a committee choose the Woman of the Year. I received a letter in February from them to tell them I had been nominated and I was allowed to bring one female guest to the luncheon and award ceremony, held at Eaton Park in Chester, part of the Grosvenor estate.  My Mum had to be that person!

Here we are ready to leave:

On arrival at Eaton Park, the grand gates of the private estate were opened for us, having shown my invitation. That felt exciting as they slowly swung opened and were warned to ‘look out for deer’. We drove through the stunning grounds of the Duke and Duchess of Westminster’s  estate to the relevant building.

Photographers greeted us in a beautiful courtyard, from Cheshire Life  (to be in June edition) and from the committee (photos to be on their website).

Once inside the furnishings, rooms, etc. were all very impressive. A lovely touch was photographs of the Westminster family. No photography allowed in there though. We had a drinks reception to mingle as music was played by Valerie Bracken Trio . Wines were provided by Marsh Cat.

We looked at the table plan – 140 ladies of whom 61 were nominees. The age range was wide from teenagers to late 80 year olds. The ladies from the committee had badges on and did a wonderful job as hostesses. The positive and excited atmosphere was most intoxicating (even on orange juice)!

Lunch was announced and we took our seats. I loved the table setting – complete with named programme, goodie bag and certificate.

Mum and I had the pleasure of siting with Doreen Harper who has spent 40 years teaching disabled people to swim (she is 86 and still doing it – wow). Her daughter was equally inspiring. Next to me were Vicky Matthews and Caroline Gowing from Pink Spaghetti.  They have built a great business as a PA service. Also at our table were Jemma Gregory and her guest from SPACE  in Chester and Averil Hart who has volunteered at St Ann’s Hospice  for 40 years.

The food was delicious and the conversation flowed. My Mum showed where my passion and tenacity comes from as she described her retirement hobby at entering competitions using her iPad! Her stories inspired Vicky and Caroline so much that they said she would make a fabulous speaker on ‘how to make retirement fun’! I agree that my parents are excellent role models and that they are filling retirement with more than which colour bin to put out to be collected!

Sylvia Cheater, the Chairman of the committee, gave a short speech on how the event has grown and thanked all the sponsors for their support. She introduced the Cheshire Woman of the Year as Kate Spall, Founder of The Pamela Northcott Fund.  As Sylvia  described how Kate had lost her mother through cancer, I am sure I wasn’t the only daughter in the room to be grateful that their mum was still alive. Kate has done amazingly well to campaign and lobby to ensure that cancer patients receive the right life-saving drugs. I wanted to hug her as she said how proud she was that her daughter was with her today.

Both Doreen and Averil at my table received lifetime achievement awards. Wonderful!

Have you watched the Oscars? Have you sometimes seen the obvious expression of disappointment across the faces of those who do not pick up the statue? Today I can honestly say that it felt  that no-one in the room was disappointed. It was such an honour to be there and we were all made to feel very special. A few weeks ago I hosted the awards for the British Journal of Health Visiting – that had a similar atmosphere.

The speaker was Janette McCormick QMP who is Deputy Chief Constable for Cheshire. She gave us some wonderful stories and anecdotes about how the role of the police women has grown. Her stories about truncheons reminded me of the night I had gone walking wearing just my nightie when I was so ill. I remember a policeman greeting me holding his truncheon at the ready in case I became violent! Janette is a fine example of making changes in her professional role for the advantage of others and congratulated us all in the room.

The event ended with a raffle of incredible prizes – none to our table though! Another advantage of today was that funds were raised for NSPCC. I could never condone those who are cruel to children. I do have empathy for those who have a mental illness and that then contributes to irrational suffering. I came very close to it myself when I was so ill. I applaud the report the NSPCC did on ‘All babies count – spotlight on perinatal mental illness’.This is one of the policy drivers that is now helping to push the agenda of the First 1001 Critical Days APPG group  at Parliament that I am involved with and the 70/30 campaign to help minimise child maltreatment.

I would like to thank all of the committee members who made today possible. The sponsors  too and the team at Eaton Park. Thank you and many congratulations to all in the room. It would have been great to have heard more stories – looking at the short sentence about each nominee in the programme was inspiring in itself.

I was really pleased to have an article about me in the Chester Chronicle this week. The strength of the media coverage and social media enables me to help others. As a direct result of that article I have been contacted by families who are currently struggling with some form of perinatal mental illness. Do I enjoy the publicity and events like today? Of course I do – yet the real reward comes from being able to live out my goals above.

And I shall keep on doing so.

Do you know any inspirational women in Cheshire? Details for nominations for next year can be found here.

I have felt a whole range of emotions today. This song fits well ..

https://youtu.be/LEoxGJ79PMs

Elaine 🙂