My Blog

(Please note that I wrote this blog before the murder of Jo Cox MP and felt that it was better to wait to publish it out of respect for her. It is intended purely as a review of the conference on 9th June and to highlight the work around Infant mental health.)

When I first set out on my journey to spread awareness around perinatal mental health, I always hoped that one day I would be able to share my reasons with MPs. Finally it is happening thanks to the work of many others too. One such lady is Clair Rees who is working tirelessly with PIP UK and the APPG 1001 Critical Days. This lead to the first Infant Mental Health Awareness week and Awards held at the prestigious Central Westminster Hall, a few steps from the Houses of Parliament.

I was honoured to speak about my own experiences and that of my son. I felt very humbled to be sharing a platform with so many influential people and to around 300 dedicated professionals involved in infant and perinatal mental health.

The chair for the day was Tim Loughton MP  (pictured) who also chairs the APPG 1001 Critical Days meetings in Parliament. I am so pleased to say that by the end of this event, and my talk, he knows who I am!

The first speaker was Rt Hon Alistair Burt MP who was appointed Minister of State for Community and Social Care at the Department of Health in May 2015.

His clear message was to encourage people to read the report Building Great Britons:Shaping New Architecture. Its contents can be used to encourage MPs and commissioners to recognise the need for funding these areas.

Next we heard from the inspiring Clair Rees, Executive Director PIP UK. Her passion, commitment and drive to infant and perinatal mental health is simply breath-taking. She makes everyone involved feel valued and is one of the best facilitators I have the pleasure to know. She has an incredible ability to introduce people and services to each other for mutual benefit. Thank you Clair for all that you do! Have a read of her article on the week The Critical Social Currency of Earliest Relationships.

On next was Chris Cuthbert, from Big Lottery Best Start who shared some of the work that they are involved in, e.g. Blackpool and Bradford.

Professor Jane Barlow spoke next about the evidence base behind the 1001 Critical Days. The research around sleeping difficulties reminded me of my son. Throughout all my perinatal mental illness, no-one ever commented about his mental health. When breast-feeding had to stop instantly when I was admitted to a general psychiatric ward, no-one ever commented on what the effect could be on him – or me. I still feel that one of the only things I felt I was doing right as a mother was ‘stolen’ from me. This is one reason I am so passionate about specialist Mother and Baby Units.

Looking back I was also ‘too much’ at times in the postnatal period. I didn’t leave my son simply ‘to be’. I was anxious around him and this probably lead to his generally unsettled demeanour. Such schemes as ‘Watch, wait and wonder’ may have helped me to take a different view and interact better with my son.

Next was George Hosking, WAVE Trust. He reminded us of the need to start locally with MPs, etc. to improve services. Have a look at their 70/30 campaign.

Frank Field MP,  spoke next about the Life Chances Strategy and how the Prime Minster has spoken about this. It makes complete sense that if we look after our infants, then generational improvements will be made.

After lunch Dr Alain Gregoire, Chair of Maternal Mental Health Alliance, presented about the work they do for mothers and their infants.

Then it was me! In the 11 years since I resigned my teaching career, certain events will always stay in my mind. This will be one of them. I loved it!  I was even given a standing ovation by some in the audience.

This is the first time I have told my story from my son’s perspective, as a baby. I mentioned the guilt and stigma that many mothers feel and that as a society we can all play our role in easing this. I highlighted the need for preconception counselling for those at high risk or perinatal mental illness (first or subsequent pregnancies). This would reduce so much anxiety and expense – personal and financial. I spoke of the change in language around a birth plan to library (thank you Debby Gould) to minimise the feelings of failure.

I concluded by asking professionals to communicate well, listen, be kind, compassionate and help to provide the services and resources needed to enable families to get their sparkle back, as I have done. I encouraged them all to begin by getting in touch with their local MP. I can do this authentically as I have done so – see me with Graham Evans MP in his latest blog.

Andrea Leadsom MP, Founder of PIP UK and 1001 Critical Days Manifesto was the next to the platform. I was impressed by her eloquent delivery and also her willingness to share her own journey of postnatal illness. This was the root of her desire to set up the 1001 Critical Days manifesto.

The formal part of the day concluded with the first ever Infant Mental Health Awards Ceremony. It was great to see so many dedicated professionals having their work acknowledged, for example, the PSS team in Liverpool.

It was appreciated to have a table to display and sell my books and an opportunity to speak to people. It is always good to see the inspirational Mark Williams. Recently he set up the first International Fathers Mental Health Day.

I also met  Sue Atkins,  whom I have known through social media and saw briefly on other occasions. I was thrilled that she was able to hear my story at this event. I also noticed Cheryll Adams in the audience from the Institute of Health Visiting. I noticed later that week she was awarded a CBE. Many congratulations!

Some of the other groups that shared their information included  Wonder Weeks Academy; International Journal of Birth and Parent Education; AIMH (UK); Alex Florschutz and Circle of Security Parenting DVD Training.

The NSPCC also shared information on Baby Steps – Helping Parents Cope with the pressures of a new baby.

The main call to action from this event was to ensure that your own MP is aware of the importance of Infant and perinatal mental health.

As I left the venue I felt an urge to go and sit inside Westminster Abbey and reflect upon the day and what had lead me to this event. When I was 10 years old I was extremely ill with viral pneumonia. It was the same summer that my parents welcomed my baby sister into this world. My Mum was terrified that she would lose one daughter as she gained another. Whilst I was in hospital my grandparents took my older brother to London for a break. My Grandma shared with me that whilst there she had gone into Westminster Abbey and prayed that I would recover. It seemed right to go in and say thank you. Due to preparations for the Queen’s Birthday, it wasn’t possible.

Life can take us on many twists and turns. We all face some huge ‘downs’. At the time we feel there is no future – or certainly one that we had not intended. Further on, we can begin to find a new purpose and it can lead us to incredible opportunities that may help to make the similar situation better for others.

In the light of the current political turmoil due to the EU Referendum, my biggest desire is that the huge strides we had begun to make involving politicians with infant and perinatal mental health continues in the future. I certainly shall continue to do the awareness raising and I know I have many others around me who feel the same. Let’s keep on keeping on!

Elaine.